The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
