So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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