Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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