I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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