shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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