Just fell off a train. Bad.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize