You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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