I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
