why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
