Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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