I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
