yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
