South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
