This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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