I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
