This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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