The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
