Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
