Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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