Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize