I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
