oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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