I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
