How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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