Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
