Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
