It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We have so much sex to catch up on
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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