He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
