He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
