i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
