So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
