Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
