Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
