Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
