This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
