Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
