and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
