her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
