I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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