Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Randomize
