i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
