lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
