just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
