Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
