so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
