i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
