Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
