Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
