Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
