Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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