it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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