Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
