Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
