i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
