planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
