omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
