yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Randomize
