UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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