i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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