This is not my ceiling
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
