big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
