I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
