i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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