She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
