Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
