I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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