i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
